Barak Hussein Ebolama

It's been a while since the last boil has been Lanced, but I've stopped taking the medication, and the voices are back.

Why has the "Ebola crisis" divided along political lines?
What about it is so political that it pits the right and the left against each other?

Right Wing Ebola Pills

I got it figgered out.
It is actually tailor-made for the WWJBD (What Would John Birch Do) crowd.

First and foremost, it's just the best thing ever for creating fear, and this is the
right's stock in trade. They just aint happy unless they are crying wolf while wearing
Chicken Little suits. They haven't figured out yet exactly how to tie ebola to socialism, but give them time.

The Boy Who Cried Wolfowitz

Second, this is appealing to Republican politicians who now have the opportunity to portray themselves as "tough on plague." Bullies look for an easy mark, and the Ebola lobby is very weak.

Yippee

Sure it's fun to vilify poor people for being poor because they are moral failures, but even filet and lobster gets boring if you have it EVERY day. So it's always good to have a new target to puff up about.


Additionally, those left-wing weenies are always prattling on about science, and we don't want public health policy based on something like science, for God's sake.

Godless Communist Scientist

But the the best reason for it is what seems to be the right's only reason for existence. They get to blame Obama.
While watching them choke on their own vomit is amusing, one must wonder what Obama could do to actually gain some measure of approval.

He could:

1. Gather up all the West African Ebola victims
2. Then nuke West Africa (for good measure)
3. Air drop the Ebola victims into Isis strongholds (just for fun)
4. Then nuke Syria (just because)
5. Hang himself in the Oval Office.

And they still wouldn't be happy.

I'm touching myself.

But Ebola is small potatoes...

compared to a REAL threat

9. WWJD (Who Would Jesus Deny)

Pity the "religious" who hate Obamacare. They've got a lot to juggle. They have to find a way to pretend something about God and his regional managers-Moses, Jesus, Allah, Joseph Smith, Jim Jones, and the megaphone guy on the corner. Not only them, but the others claiming to be the intellectual inheritors of a guy who impregnated his half sister and went on to murder his son because voices in his head told him to do it. They have to pretend that all these guys will let them ignore the poor.

It doesn't matter what your flavor of Abrahamic religious kool-aid is, each one has this very pesky notion that you have an obligation to take care of the poor.
Damn, that's inconvenient if you hate the notion of healthcare.

It all starts with the Big Kahuna who says right here in Duderonomy 15:17 (just for Dudes):

"If there is a poor man among you, one of your brothers, in any town of the land which the LORD your God is giving you, you shall not harden your heart, nor close your hand to your poor brother, but you shall freely open your hand to him, and generously lend him sufficient for his need in whatever he lacks."

Wow doesn't that just suck if you're a Jew who thinks Obama is a Socialist for wanting Americans to have healthcare. Maybe God meant everything EXCEPT health care.

We'll skip ahead to Islam (saving the biggest Socialist for last). We all know what the Koran says, don't we? Kill the infidels, get 72 Virginians in heaven.

The only problem is that no one, except a bunch of "sheetheads" have actually READ it. And when it comes to caring for the poor, it pretty much sucks too.
"Believe in Allah and His messenger, and spend (in charity) out of the (substance) whereof He has made you heirs. For, those of you who believe and spend (in charity),- for them is a great Reward." (57:7)


Damn, can't a pseudo-religious conservative brother catch a break here?

But by far, the most demanding on this topic is that rabble rousing socialist trouble maker, The One, The Only, The Son of God, The Messiah.....Barak Obama.
Whoops, I meant Jesus of Nazareth.  What a trouble maker.

Mark 10:21-22: "Jesus, looking at him, loved him and said, 'You lack one thing; go, sell what you own, and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; then come, follow me.' When he heard this, he was shocked and went away grieving, for he had many possessions."


What kind of crap is that?

If he came around again, trying to peddle that kind of hogwash, they'd crucify him. Oh wait, they already DID that. Well, they would crucify him again, or worse, call him a MODERATE. God help him. No doubt, Christians have the toughest row to hoe here, because they are supposed to do their best to be JUST LIKE CHRIST. 
But wait...It gets worse:


"Whoever says 'I know him' but does not keep his commandments is a liar, and the truth is not in him."    1 John 2:4

                                                                                                                                          






                                    He's back, he's pissed. 
                                    He's taking names and kicking ass.

So, bad news for our Torah/Bible/Koran thumping Brothers and Sisters who think that they are not absolutely commanded to care for the poor, and view Obamacare as Socialism. It's not so much that they are misguided, misinformed, or have had their brains scrambled by Fox.


They are just bad people.


Wretched lying sinners  damned to hellfire, who, regarding Obamacare,  must ask themselves:


WWJD
Who WOULD Jesus deny?

2. Why Everyone Should Be Hated

  Many think that Americans have never been so partisan or bitterly divided, or politics been nastier. Not the case.

  Jefferson vs Adams 1800. Jefferson wrote "Adams was a hideous hermaphroditical character which has neither the force and the firmness of a man nor the gentleness and sensibility of a woman". In return, Adams asked voters "Are you prepared to see your dwellings in flames, hoary heads bathed in blood, female chastity violated, children writhing on the pike and halberd? Great God of compassion and justice, shield my country from destruction."

J:  Oh Yeah?                A: Sez You

  28 years later, John Adams son, John Quincy Adams, said of his opponent Andrew Jackson, that he had the personality of a dictator, was too uneducated to be President and said his wife was a "dirty black wench... prone to open and notorious lewdness". Jackson's camp returned the favor by claiming that Adams had sold his wife's maid as a concubine to the Czar of Russia.

J: I'm taller             A: Bite me

In those days, they knew how to turn a phrase. Against this background, current politicians calling each other flip-floppers is really namby pamby stuff. If the counselor sneaks off for a cigarette break, they are liable to short sheet each other's beds, or wait until someone passes out, humiliate them and then tweet the photo.

The people who are really PO'ed are the voters, and deservedly so.
Everyone hates everyone.

  Republicans are mad at each other because if you take all the American male multi-millionaire Republicans over the age of 35, that's a pretty big pool from which to draw. And the BEST they can come up with is Santorum and Romney? If you're a moderate Republican, you know Santorum is a hateful Pentecostal theocrat dingbat in a Catholic suit. If you're a conservative Republican (otherwise known as a Conserva-Nazi by the elite lame-stream media), Romney ain't fooling anybody. Not only is he a liberal, but a freakin Mormon too. What else could you add to that to make it worse? Oh yeah, he killed his dog.

  Meanwhile, Democrats don't even GET a choice. Lots of Democrats don't want Obama, but no matter how much you are disappointed in Obama, if you're a Democrat... you get Obama. If that's not bad enough,  you get Biden along with him, adding insult to injury. If you are a gen-u-wine progressive liberal (otherwise know as a "lib-tard" by Foxaholics), you know that Obama is just another corporate lackey in a suit. And no matter what part of the Democratic Party spectrum you occupy, no one has a clue what his real goals are. If you're not scared, you're just not paying attention.

Republicans hate Democrats because Obama is ruining this country.

Democrats hate Republicans because Bush ruined this country.

My Fellow Americans

Clearly, we're screwed. The only possible solution seems to be if both the Democrats and Republicans political conventions are "brokered". That happens when there are not enough delegates for any one candidate to win on the first vote.  (Wikipedia on Brokered Conventions) Delegates don't HAVE to vote for who they were sent to vote for. They can do anything they want. Maybe the way the political revolution can happen is through the convention delegates. Let's say they all agree not to cast the votes for whom they were delegated, but instead broker the convention.

 Democratic candidates, unfettered by obligation, can do what they really want to do and nominate Clinton. Times were good then.
 Republican candidates, unfettered by obligation, can do what they really want to do and nominate Reagan. Times were good then.

Or...what about REAL bipartisanship. Reagan as President (dead or alive, he's still a favorite) and Clinton as Vice President. Now THERE's a ticket.

Great God of compassion and justice, 
shield my country from destruction.